It’s funny how sex is everywhere if you know where to look.  Just back from a trip to Florida (3 days at Disney, a little sand, water, and palm trees and back to snow) sigh… Anyway I was sitting behind a couple of honeymooners who had a blanket across thier laps, and I’m sure did a little stroke and tickle at 30,000 feet.  Not quite the ass inthe sink in the washroom as a mile high experience, but fun nonetheless.

My friend, let’s call her Becky, was telling me how she used to reach orgasm all afternoon inthe University library while studying for her exams. She said the desk tops in a certain private back section of the McGill library were just the right height for rubbing against, and she used to reward herself whenever she finished a section of studying. I had another friend who claimed that her heel under her hips in her rocking chair at her parents house, always sent her over the edge.  All I have is a bunch of vibrators under my desk.  That reminds me, maybe it’s time to end this blog early. hmmmm

Let’s all celebrate out own private orgasms.

So, not to brag or anything, but I’ve see a few penises in my time.  I know, you’re shocked that a sex therapist who has worked in a sexual health clinic has, gasp, been exposed to the odd willy.  Not to mention the few (more than 5 and less than a dozen) that I’ve actually slept with.

Well, today I’m going to talk about the few very ODD willies I’ve seen. Dicks by another name, come in all colors, sizes, shapes, complete with their own odors, bumps and spots.  With an average size of 5 inches erect, some are cut (circumcised), some are hairy (you should have seen the bush on this one guy!!!!), and some look like a scared turtle peeking out of their shell.   Women know that universally, men are obsessed with their penis size.  They have all measured it. At least any guy I’ve ever spoken to about it. I saw one that had been botched during a circumcision (it looked like it had been whacked with a lawn mower – deep gashes around the head), and one that had been pierced three times down the shaft (forget writing your name in the snow anymore buddy).

But by far, the strangest dong that was ever flashed to me was the Jamaican giant who must have had a 13 inch penis.  It was, with no exaggeration, a freak of nature.  He was looking for a donut (otherwise known as a door stop) that prevents the penis from being inserted too deeply into a vagina.  I guess his partners had ran screaming into the night once they saw it erect. I know I would have, if I was thinking about sleeping with him.  He offered to show me, and I was too genuinely curious not to take him up on the offer. Black, freckled, and the size of the biggest peppermill you’ve ever seen.

Just thought you would be interested in know.

The media seems to imply (at least according to my friend D), that everyone is having threesomes…. Watching the weddingcrashers I love Will Ferrell, and my favourite scene is where he is trying to propose, saying "let’s take our relationship to the next level", and she says sure, how about a threesome with the two Brazilian girls we met"… The novel I was reading yesterday (brain candy, but well written brain candy) talked about the 5 date rule.  You are dating someone and at the five date mark, no matter how the relationship is going, the guy asks how you happen to feel about threesome?  What do you do?  How likely is this going to happen, and are men really thinking this?  The girl character in the book, says, "Yeah, I love threesomes, I especially get hot when the two guys start kissing…"  So according to phone sex survey’s about the most popular phone sex fantasies for men, sex with two women (and then 3 women and 4 women and so on) are right up there (followed by anal sex, light S&M bondage, MILF’s – older women, and girls in strapons round out the top 5), so yeah your guy is probably fantasizing about it.  Asking about it on the 5th date – unless you met on adult friend finder.com, I would suggest you run.

Urologists say that every man who lives long enough will have trouble with their prostate.  My favourite expression is that get to know it guys, because it will bite you in the ass when you least expect it.

It’s a cool thing, the prostate. Like a little donut, it circles the vas defrens (the tube that brings semen out of the body).  It produces most of the fluid in cum or ejaculate, and lines up perfectly on xray with the female G-Spot. So it’s guy’s P spot,or g equivalent and can give you a "different" kind of orgasm when stimulated.  Not like the visit to the proctologist, that’s just uncomfortable, necessary, but uncomfortable), stimulation of the prostate can feel really, really good.  Loaded with nerve endings there are two ways to reach it. One massaging between the back of the testicles and the anus, and the other, (only if you have short finger nails), but gentle stimulation inside by moving it slowly back and forth.  One of the top five most common phone sex fantasies (I would love to get a grant to study that), is men being penetrated by their partners a la strap on.  hey, if you want to do me there, I want to do you there….

They don’t know whay the prostate suddenly starts to enlarge, but it can hold toxins, and one of the best ways to "clean it out" is by regular, frequent ejaculations. That means, masturbating a few times a week if you don’t have a partner, or asking someone who likes you to help you out.  Tell them it’s medicinal, and your sex therapist told you to do it.

In the meanwhile, listen to my 90 second audio on the visit to the proctologist.