I was re-living the 80′s the other day.  "I wanna new Drug" the Huey Lewis song, about finding the perfect drug that would instantly make you  feel perfect.  Well I want the perfect sex drug or toy.  Don’t get me wrong, there are alot of great sex toys, (my favourite is still my 30 year old Phillips) but I want the instant-take-a-pill and have an sensational orgasm kind of orgasm in a jar. Batteries may or may not be included.

So many women I see in my practice are still struggling to reach an orgasm.  Two of my closest girlfriends (despite being very sexually active), both don’t ever climax.  Feel good, yes, orgasm no.

How can we fix such an injustice?  I thought the solution was a Willy Wonka type orgasm pill. I had high hopes for that anti-depressant that had you reaching orgasms when you sneezed (and hey, if the technology and bio chemistry can do it once, you should be able to replicate it in the perfect drug).

I want a grant to research that. The sex drug, I can see the marketing now. I won’t give you the munchies, and you don’t even need a partner.  Now that’s medication that could save the world.

  I promised on tonight’s Love and Romance show to offer a few solutions to Premature Ejaculation.  In my experience, there are 12 concrete solutions for fixing the problem.  I’m going to do the 12 days of PE, my true love said to me, "Don’t be so quick"….Here’s what to do…..(sing along with me in your head or out loud if you want the people at the next cubicle to really get into it)  Check this site out tomorrow and I’ll attach an audio file of me actually singing this.  American Idol wanna be I’m not, but it should be memorable.

1. On the first day of therapy Sue Mcgarvie said to me, do 100 Keegals. 

2. On the second day of therapy the sex therapist said to me  "Try china brush" (a herbal application that delay’s things) 

3. On the third day of therapy my sex therapist said to me"feel for your defrens"  (the squeeze technique where you put pressure and squeeze at the base of the penis where it joins the body.)

4.  On the fourth day of therapy my sex therapist said to me "masturbate differently".

5. "Pull down your testicles…"

Listen for the song and the PDF that outlines the rest of the steps tomorrow.  I’m beat and heading for bed after a long night of prepping for the show.  Glad to also note (especially for my friends from Toronto) that the Sens won the first round of the playoffs.  More in the world of blogging tomorrow.

Although I didn’t get to the AVN show this year in Vegas, I did get a package of propoganda along with the list of amazing new products.  Like in every year, they range from the mediocre, the fantastic, the lousy and the downright bizarre. Here are a couple more of my must-haves.

1. Oh my lube in my favorite new flavour – low-fat, de-caf cappiciano flavor.

2. The vibrating duck. – Man does this new toy torque!!!!  Makes bathtime ever so much more fun.

3. Waterproof Jelly G – Spot

Considering that the best G- Spot orgasms will make you with you were in scuba gear, one for the bathtub, hot tub, lake etc. seems like a great idea. Covered in comfortable jelly with extra girth, so they press into you when they need to, the G Spot vibes, always have that little hook, that presses around your pubic bone. With the G Spot vibes, you can either get there or not (My doctor describes it as having to pick his wife up with his fingers…), depending on how close your G- Spot is to the surface of the vagina. Still, if you like internal stimulation, this is one of the best.

4. Senso – (Pretend Blue Squishy Vagina)

This is a great pretend artificial vagina. It’s considered one of the 7 wonders of the world for the guys who have tried it. Perfect for business trips (you can then use it for phone sex and stay connected), it doesn’t trip the metal detector, and fits snuggly in your hand, and around other more protruding parts. It might not look like much, the shape isn’t quite inviting, but I have it on great authority, it feels sooooo great. It is not vibrating, but it will give you a much better sensation than the cheap vibrating models. With thousands of different toys for women, the ones for men all resemble a tube and a whole. This and the Fleshlight are the top of the line.

5. Fleshlight 2

Okay, this is the toy you can hide in your “toolbox” and know one will be the wiser. Well constructed, well made and with a great hook on that tube and hole thing, With the lid on, this discreet male masturbation toy resembles an over sized flashlight, but twist the lid off and a sumptuous pink mouth appears. These are so cool.  If I had a penis, I would want one of these. Makes a great gift for the handyman in your life.

Happy Easter. There are lots of sex topics that work with major holidays, but Ester usually isn’t opn of them. For wome chocolates are always a good choice, because it puts us in the mood. Not just because it contains phenelethamine (sp?), but the sugar, caffeine and combination of other magic things we love can take us from hom hum, to "do me babe" in a short period of time. I have a friend that says you give a woman flowers in public, but choclate in private.  You’ll likely get some action, trust me.

The other must have thing for Easter is one of my 10 sexy must have things, known as the vibro egg.  The perfect Easter gift, under $20, comes in different colors, easy to hold (that universal shape), vibrates like mad, great inside, outside, around the head of the penis or back of the testicles, nipples, or where ever needs a little stimulation. It has the added benefiit of not looking like a sex toy if your mom happens to find it in your sock drawer….

I wrote a bunch of content for my new podcast, but until my computer gets fixed, we get to do it the old fashioned way.  I have this very cool new blackberry, so if you want to comment, I’ll recieve if on my new wireless… sexwithsue@rogers.com.  I would love your feedback.

Anyway, here are a few more toys I like.  I’ll get through my list of cool sex toys this week, and then I’ll start on the audio podcasting.  Then you can listen as well as read.  I think everyone needs a toy as a stress reliever.  Here’s a pic with Mr. Bush and the ever popular rabbit. (and we know how stressed "shrubby" is these days…)

The Egg and Dual Bullets Combo

This is the toy that if your Mom finds in your sock drawer, she won’t know that it’s actually for putting a smile on your face. They’ll never get in the way, but they’ll take you all the way!  Most sex toys don’t even compare to this one but you get two together, they fit in, on or around every orifice in your body. The universal shape, can put it inside, outside, against the head of the penis, nipples, and in combination against the testicles, it’s great alone, but it’s real beauty is as a tandem toy. Think two for the price of one- this is a great starter toy.

Waterproof Jelly G – Spot

Considering that the best G- Spot orgasms will make you with you were in scuba gear, one for the bathtub, hot tub, lake etc. seems like a great idea. Covered in comfortable jelly with extra girth, so they press into you when they need to, the G Spot vibes, always have that little hook, that presses around your pubic bone. With the G Spot vibes, you can either get there or not (My doctor describes it as having to pick his wife up with his fingers…), depending on how close your G- Spot is to the surface of the vagina. Still, if you like internal stimulation, this is one of the best.

I get all the cool sex toy catalogues from the manufacturers and I’m overwhelmed. Go to some of the "marital aids" websites, and be prepared for every color, size and pictures (usually penetrating some orfice). Now I’m about as far away from a prude as you can get, but I find graphic pictures when all I really want is information, somewhat assaultive.  I still use my old Phillips beauty set that I got as a Christmas present as a teen as my #1 toy and the damn thing is over 20 years old!  New isn’t necessarily better, it’s what works for you.  I like the plug in’s (because I HATE being out of batteries when I want to play), but there are some good ones to know about of late.  Catch my earlier blog about why it’s essential for women to get a toy and mastrbate.

1. Pain, stress relief, lowers blood pressure, improves the pelvic floor muscles and a host of other general health benefits. 2.If you can’t play with your own equipment, you shouldn’t be playing with anyone elses. Besides, how are you going to show someone what you like, if you don’t know? 3. Women who touch themselves when they feel the urge are 85-90% less likely to get a vaginal/yeast/genital infection.  Yup, you read that right.  Just like sneezing clears your sinus cavity, orgasms flush out old sprem cells, bacteria, viruses and other nasties lurking in your twat. Climax, and they are washed away with the tidal wave.  If you don’t believe me, read Robin Baker’s book Sperm Wars, the best researched book on evolutionary biology I’ve found

So, just for the record, here are some of my favourite toys, with brief descriptions on  how you shoud use them….

Great finger vibe FK 9000 This was the “sex toy of the year” in 2003, and have been going through evolutions ever since. Small, quite, with this cool pouch (complete with belt loop!!!!) so you can pretend it’s a cell phone for those emergency work days. Possibly the world’s smallest vibrator (actually it isn’t, but you could say “possibly”). It fits on your finger and provides an amazing tease.  These finger mounted sex toys have an incredible 9000 vibrations per minute. Yeah!. It is entirely wireless and little clips to hold it securely on your finger. It also comes with extra batteries. Great for external clitoral or prostate (P spot) stimulation. The only downside to these toys is that these little batteries, while great for specific stimulation, making it small and convenient, don’t pack the serious power of some of the bigger toys. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll get off, but if you are the give-me-the-power-turn-it-up-to-11 kind of person these little sweeties may not have the torque you need.

The Amazing, Stupendous Rabbit Immortalized forever on Sex in the City, (this is the one that Charlotte bought and then stopped leaving the house, and Miranda and Carey had to do a Rabbit intervention after finding her disheveled and completely satisfied), This is a great, wonderful, must-have, incredible toy that you buy for yourself or for any woman in your life, -think bridal shower, sister’s birthday, grumpy boss, whomever…. Lot’s of guys claim to be jealous that they can’t move like that. I say that it means less work for the guys, and if you’re a smart guy, you get her close with the Rabbit , and then come in for the finish and end up a hero. Besides what else are we to do during hunting season, the World Series, and business trips??? These vibrators have a penis head and a bulge in the middle with Wiggly moving parts. More to come on tomorrow’s blog