One of the most common reasons cited in divorce cases according to my sister-in-law the brilliant family lawyer (pender-leef.com if you need a pit bull in lipstick) is “drifting apart”. Most people get married to spend their life with their partner. If they are always away, or doing things apart, the marriage drifts away.

So what can you do if you have careers that has you working different hours? How do you keep your marriage spicy and successful?

Think about it. If you only see your partner in the shower or on the highway (I heard of one couple who meet at the side of the road when they are on opposite shifts) what can you do when there is enough stress on a 50% divorce rate in the first place? And then you spend all weekend cleaning, mowing, babying, and making lists of what needs to get done next week. The problem with being a workaholic is that you are considered a champion for pulling all the extra hours. But if your work becomes more important than your relationship, then you end up alone. It is especially damaging if you don’t see a light the end of the tunnel.

“There’s nothing more harmful to a relationship than feeling like you’re not gaining ground on something,”

Here are the suggestions:

-text to say I love you or call just to say hello
-don’t spend your off time watching “dancing with the stars”. Take night courses working to get extra time off together, or do the housework so you can have a weekend together.
-learn to like each others hobbies and take an active interest in them
-make a night for just you two- that means friends, family and work are off limits
-if your sweetie is pulling a late night at the office, surprise them with take-out and be their hero.