As a sex therapist I spend my days encouraging people to focus on sexual solutions, rather than problems. However it is sometimes hard to see the solutions in the middle of daily chaos. Think about it. Kids bickering, dogs barking, food to buy and prepare, the never-ending pile of laundry means you struggle to fit in the time and privacy for great sex.
That's why I schedule sex in my own life, and encourage my patients to do the same. It's easy to get turned on with a new person. Keeping things hot day after day requires work. I have a weekly night in my house that's for fun, play and intimacy. Either myself or Blaik (Mr. Romance) takes the initiative to lead the dance. I'm working on a new list of modern suggestions for couples looking for activities. It's finding time in your day to day life to have that connection. I don't know about you, but I count my blessings to have someone in my life to hug and have sex with. Smile.
Debbie Herbenick has this to say about why you can create intimacy with a simple connection:
To stop and notice that you are living with and/or loving a wonderful being who chooses you – and to notice that every day you stay you are choosing them, too – can bring two people closer in love and in sex. In fact, an interesting finding from sex research is that although several aspects of sexual function (orgasms, erectile function, vaginal lubrication, desire) tend to decline with age, sexual satisfaction tends to not change as much. Often, it even improves with age, perhaps because women and men learn to cherish what familiarity brings them: namely, someone to come home to and to count on and who's invested in knowing their bodies and their minds better with each passing year.