It is rare these days for modern relationships to just “happen”. If you don’t meet in College or at work there are less and less opportunities to connect with someone new outside of your social circle. My parents met in High School, and my grandparents married the person next door. So many people simply go from work to home. Or work the grocery store to home and wonder why they haven’t found the right person to magically walk into their lives.
As a sex and relationship with 20 years in private practice and 10 years on radio talking to thousands of people I have come up with a unique understanding of what the opposite sex is looking for. And a system to find it. I have perfected it over the last 8 years and now I can confidently say that I can help you find the love of your life in 3 months or less. GUARANTEED.
Let me tell you how I discovered all of this.
My younger brother would move in with me between girlfriends.
He’s a great guy, kind, well meaning but had yet to the the RIGHT girl. He would easily find nice girls to go out with in his 20’s (friends of friends and at bars). It was better than being alone and before he knew it a couple of years of dating these girls had gone by. Knowing they weren’t the right partner, he wasn’t willing to move the relationship to the next level. So he would end it and spend loads of time camping in my basement.
Finally when he hit his early 30’s he came to me ready to settle down. I asked him “if he was ready to meet the right girl and be willing to do exactly what I said”. He agreed and I posted the following ad on one of the unique dating sites for him. This was my first attempt. My ads have only gotten better. Here’s how it read:
OK, I’m not quite sure how this is going to sound but I’m going to give it a try. I am a fun, interesting, thoughtful, easy-going, articulate guy. I am believe that life is an adventure best shared and I am looking for someone who is who is just as happy to stay in and rent a movie as go out. Someone who likes to travel, is affectionate, adventurous, and open to going new places and trying new things. Independent but still loves to spend time together. Qualities I look for in a partner; kindness, optimism, humor, fun-loving among others.
If you are into playing games then I am definitely not your guy. I like women who are as comfortable dressing down as dressing up. I am physically fit and affectionate. I value honesty and communication. I am a small business owner, I play guitar, love animals and friends and family are very important to me.
They gave me two thumbs up (well, sort of)
read the reviews…
I did a poll of my family and friends asking for their descriptions of me as I tried write this profile, on this, my first attempt at online dating.
Trying to be charitable here’s what they said:
Slightly Lopsided (my friend Fred)
My sister cut my hair, (fortunately the #4 clipper is forgiving while she was learning), and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by mentioning the lopsided look that my buddies had no hesitation in pointing out to me. It’s since been corrected.
Nice to animals (Troy age 6)
I secretly worry about my niece and nephews’ hamster named Oreo (after the cookie), and bring over sunflower seeds and hamster treats when I visit. I think this concern is justified since their previous hamster -Squishy, had a demise that foreshadowed its name.
Full of useless trivia (my friend John)
With an honours degree in history (almost as useful as alchemy, or some other extinct career path), which only seems to allow me follow the twists and turns of American politics, when I read the Time magazine website (the place I check in daily, to get most of my world news… ) My higher education hasn’t helped me run my business or deal better with my employees, but gives me a few good stories about Mongol Hoards, or knowing some of the more obscure Roman Emperors.
Lousy poke player (my buddy Greg)
He’s just jealous. In fact, I play a mean hand of Texas hold’em. At least good enough to gleefully take money off my friends when we have the monthly poker game. But not enough to do anything but get my ego handed to me when I played a few hands on a recent trip to Vegas. Oh so humbling.
Absolutely the most wonderful, sweet, thoughtful, funny, supportive, sensitive, greatest guy in the whole world, who doesn’t eat enough vegetables. (my Mother)
Interesting taste in movies (Vivianne, my friend Rob’s sweetie)
I love Clerks, Kill Bill and Firefly the series, so I favor the literate, slightly off beat, but funny, movies that make up my large eclectic collection. It’s a toss up which I prefer more, cuddling on the couch, or trying out new adventures (anything from travel, rock climbing, making up songs on my guitar, to strange, experimental cooking). I’m a great guy with a can opener.
Sane, mushy, dependable, great haircut, and should stay out of my freezer (my sister)
Well she’s referring to the fact that I’m a bit of a schmaltz, treat women with respect and consideration, and well balanced, (no serial axe murderers in the family). She’s constantly insisting I drop everything I’m doing to come over and babysit or bring her something. The last part refers to my addiction to black cherry ice cream (which she has caught me eating directly from the carton) and my daily workouts to mediate this addiction.
So, if you are a kind, sincere, fun loving, and optimistic woman, and are even remotely interested in learning more about the nice, ruggedly handsome guy described in this quasi profile then drop me a line. I would like to meet you too.
He had over 400 responses to this ad. After weeding them down to 150 of women in the right age group and in the vicinity, I helped him write a couple of emails asking for coffee dates. I then bought him a $200 Starbucks card and told him he had to have coffee with at least 50 women. I’m a big believer that you can have coffee with anyone for 30 minutes. You can talk about the weather if necessary. I picked out his date outfit and sent him on his way.
Girl #2 blew his mind and he came home raving about how wonderful she was. I told him to “shut up and keep dating” as I didn’t want him to think the grass was greener if he hadn’t kicked a few tires. He went out on 30 dates before he mutinied ( he said they were all nice girls but none had the impact of girl #2. And now girl #2 is now my amazing, wonderful sister-in-law. She’s perfect for him. I since went on to try my exacting system of 1.knowing how to market someone, 2.where to put their ads, 3. writing ads that pull 4. how to “close the deal” 5. coaching the relationship to happily ever after to over 400 people. While I don’t claim to bat a 1000, I am so confident that I have had unprecedented success. rinks, I As one of North America’s best known television relationship shrinks I understand how to position yourself for love. And while I can’t back out of my driveway without hitting the same tree day after day, I have a unique insight into finding you love.
And I am prepared to do it for you for less than the cost of a first date.
What you say?
For about the cost of dinner and a movie – or a car tune up ($149) and I’ll hook you up with thousands of partners in a way that is successful.
Here’s what you do.
1. Click the paypal button at the bottom of this page and $100 is simply added to your credit card.
2. I’ll respond to you by email and we set up a time to have a 15-20 minute phone call. I ask the laser-like questions I need to know, and I write you a personal, one-of-a-kind dating ad. I coach you on the picture, how/where/and psychology regarding the ad I write especially for you. Basically get you set up so you are being seen by tens of thousands of potential partners. Remember, you only need one.
3. I will send you the three template emails that you need to send out to get your 30 minute coffee date and allows you to quickly interact with loads of people. I’ll also send you a form to keep everyone straight if you have three Lisa’s or four Steve’s on the go.
4. I will send you a checklist of suggestions, clothing ideas, insights and new research into how to land the partner of your dreams so that you don’t make the obvious first impression mistakes.
5. You get my newsletter and FREE information on how to be amazing when you finally get your new sweetie in the sack. This alone I sell for $500.
6. You’ll get the downloadable book on how to meet the love of your life and how to the best relationship sent to keep you on track.
7. If you want any further relationship therapy, questions answered, help with dealing with old baggage you get state of the art therapy (anywhere on the planet) at a reduced rate of $100/hour (a $50 per hour savings). Become the person the partner of your dreams wants to date.
All this is regularly a $3000.00 plan and I am offering it up for a limited time for $149. It’s guaranteed to work and you will get dates. If you follow the plan and meet enough potential partners, one of them is going to blow you away. And then you can invite me to the wedding/cohabitation party. Smile. I really promise, and I am willing to put my professional reputation, license and integrity on the line to back it up.
So what have you got to lose (except for a bunch of lonely nights?) Time is marching on and the time to act is NOW. This is a limited time offer and you’ll get my personal attention. With a new TV series in development, kids and a crazy life I won’t be able to offer this for long. But I want a bunch of couples living “happily ever after”. And I want one of those happy people to be you.
Click the button below and you’ll talk personally to me within 48 hours.
I can’t wait to speak with you.
Clinical Sex and Relationship Therapist, Syndicated Talk Show Host, Author and Hopeless Romantic.
$149 and you can find the love of your life. GUARANTEED