Couples They did a poll and asked how many men would cheat if they could get away with it.  It turns out that close to 90% of guys, would have inconsequential sex, if  they couldn’t ever get caught.  (I’ll look for the survey source).  Infidelity and having a mistress also used to have more social acceptance – you know, Man’s God give right to fool around… 

Well not anymore.  Social mores suggest that you are not entitled to have an affair, and I beleive as a sex therapist that if you choose to cheat, you better be prepared to live silently with the guilt.  This is one of the shifts in sexual attitudes happening in our lifetime. Most partners would rather you didn’t, (go figure), and if you do, would rather not know.  "Getting it off your chest" seems like a very selfish thing to do, in terms of spousal mental health.  Feet 

Which brings me to my patient today, and my thoughts that monogamous relationships may just not work for some people.  I’ve met clients, that are incapable of being monogamous, it’s just the way they are made.  These people end up feeling horrible guilt and are made to feel abnormal becasue they don’t fit the mould of the nuclear family.  You are free to take exception to this, but this is my objective conclusion after years of tying to figure out why people have affairs.  My patient today met his mistress on Ashley Madison.com the dating site for those people already attached,  and found that having the affair saved his marriage.  I’m going to do a poll on my crazy site and I’ll let you know the results.

Feeling the Love…

Sue

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