I like to dance. I’m reasonably good at it, and for me, it leverages a bunch of things all at once. I get to go out be social, and connect with some girlfriends who are also dancing fools, I get in some fun cardio (which means less time on the treadmill-yeah!), and the shrink in me gets to observe the mating rituals of the slightly inebriated, over 30 crowd. Absolutely fascinating stuff if you’re a social scientist. I get to watch the female preening gestures – women playing, with their hair, sucking suggestively on straws, and running their fingers down their throats. For men, if they want to show off, they do things like pull up their socks, frame their crotch with their hands and generally leer a lot. It happens all over the place when you know where to look.
I was sitting out a dance last night -I try and pretend I’m a lesbian at these things and only dance with other women, but I suspect it just makes me more alluring. I’m there for the exercise, and the last thing I want is some sweaty guy with halitosis pawing me, so I present definate "hands off" body language. Anyway, I was in conversation with a guy who was lamenting that women rarely make the first move and I told him my "wounded antelope theory". I think that men need to chase, lead, and make most of the initial, and major mating rituals in a relationship. I know it goes against my feminist view of the world, but since most guys are bred to be hunters, and there is a shortage of limping prey to finish off, hunting behaviour can be seen in guys trying to score. Nail her, and nail her hard. Based on my leanings towards evolutionary biology, and years of coaching patients, I think the relationship is far more likely to be a success if two things happen. First, the guy chooses, and approaches the women. Second, the women holds off until she has a chance to talk with him, write to him, or date him for at least two weeks. Then it’s more about connections and only half about raw lust. I would source the material – I’m too lazy to go look it up, but The Mystery Method, about how to pick up hot women, offers up practical tips of my biological theory if you’re a guy on the make. And if you run into me in the dance floor remember I’m pretending to be a lesbian.