I’ve been writing this week about how people are the same as each other, and how we seem to be the same as the birds, bees etc. However there are some gender differences that we atill have to overcome. I’m working with a new couple as patients, who have been married for 40 years, work together, can finish each other sentences, but still have no idea how the other person feels about them, or understand why they can’t overcome their diverging thought processes.
John Gray implies that as women, we may be from Venus. But sometimes men appear to be from somewhere like Mars. Well, I’m not a huge John Gray fan, but the process of adding testosteone at a certain neo-natal stage has our brains wired completely differently from the embryo we started as. Female. Which is why I advocate paying for sex change operations for identifyable trans-sexuals. They are willing to undergo tremendous pain and suffering so that their bodies and brains match. I see it with my son, watching him evolve into the sports mad, mud covered, kid, from the sensitive little boy his Mother tried to have him become. I certainly believe in nature rather than nurture, because as I have said before, you can’t find what you are.
You also can’t tar everyone with the same brush – the more we are similar as a species, the more differences I seem to discover. A friend told me today, that they thought that men are far more predictable, and less emotional than women. I don’t think I agree. The women I know, seem to follow fairly simple rules of engagement. We want everyone to get along, and we want attention. Play nice, even when we are evil or clueless. Men want to rule the universe, get stuff done, and sleep with as many women as possible. You agree?
According to my web search on gender differences, along with a few obvious anatomical dissimilarities, the top three gender differences that seem relevant popped up. Women cry when we are upset, versus men who usually swear and yell (or give us the silent treatment). Women are far more likely to ask for help and directions, where as men try and figure it out by themselves. Finally men, can write their names in the snow, while women take longer in the bathroom. Oh, and we are way, way more likely to experience multiple orgasms. Smile.
Not sure what it all means, but as women around the world scratch our heads in response to the Martians we live with, I thought I would share my confusion in helping my patients figure out their partner who they love, but who frustrates them. I wish I could say that lesbian relationships are far easier. So gender fdifferences aren’t the whole story.
Decades in the study of interpersonal relationships, and my way of dealing with the boy (and sometimes the men in my life) involves the very grown up response of sticking my tongue out at them and going "Nananana". Hey, if you’ve got a better idea, I’m all ears.