meetingI did a speech this week to a women’s group in a neighboring city. It was a professional women’s association made up of women 35-55. I was doing my talk I like to call “Even Superwomen get Stretchmarks”, about women, intimacy and work/life balance. I was going into the best ways to stay connected with your partner, when one of the women piped up that “she didn’t have a partner so how was she to stay connected?”

The room quickly dissolved into a discussion about being single again (or still). It turns out that in most major metropolitan areas singles constitute over 30% of the population. With a majority of those over the age of 40, being women. Despite being a proponent of smart, targeted online dating, many of the women present had been disappointed by their experiences online dating. So what’s a girl to do?

If you think you are ready to find a relationship I offer up 5 things you have to be aware of, and then a list of the best places to go to meet them.
1. Are you too shallow? Meaning is looks all that matter?
2. Are you are gold digger? Meaning all you care about is how he fills out his wallet?
3. Are you crazy? Is you past issues getting in the way of you finding love?
4. Are you too picky? Do you have a list of partner qualities that even Superman couldn’t fill?
5.Do you have that scent of desperation? Do you already have your wedding planned out and just need to “insert some groom here?” Are you rushing the relationship?
6. Are you a doormat? Are you willing to overlook any poor behavior in order to have a partner?

If you can honestly say that the above questions don’t apply to you then read on. If they do, send me an email at radioshrink@rogers.com and lets work through them either in person or by skype/webcam sessions.

If you’re ready then make an appointment at the spa, look as good as you can be and pick out a man hunting outfit that you feel confident and sexy in. Get up to speed on current events (I read Time Magazine’s website) and find a wingman. A wingman is a girlfriend or buddy you can go to events with.

Here’s the list of great places to frequent to meet that new partner.
1. Crash a party or wedding. It takes guts but if you’re well dressed and confident you can meet a whole new group of people. The best excuse is that you are scoping the venue as you are planning a future event.
2. Moonlighting. My favorite idea is the contracting desk at Home Depot where all those masculine guys with tool belts hang out. Go work at a sporting event, bar, or somewhere men congregate.
3. Go to as many parties as you can. Every Christmas when I was single four friends and I would swap Xmas party invites. I went to the chiropractic parties, my friend Dirk would come to my medical events, and we both would go to Betina’s law events. The food was always great at those. I met people who’s paths I would seldom cross.
4. Food/wine tasting. I love those things. You may have to diet the week following, but in Ontario the LCBO has lots of classes, as many of the upscale restaurants.
5. Co-ed volleyball. Bar none the best place I’ve heard of to meet fit, interesting men.
6. The same can be said of pool/bowling leagues, and believe it or not, latin dance classes.
7. Car shows. The place is crowded with men, and they are all imagine you lying across the hoods of those shiny vehicles.
8. Dog walking. Borrow a friend’s if you don’t have one. It’s a fabulous way to make friends.
9. Golf club. Take lessons from the pro and get out there. One of life’s social activities like skiing that helps you connect.
10. Investment seminar. Or upscale retirement living seminar if you are of that generation. Don’t commit to anything but get some tips and mingle.