I do a workshop that states that I will find you your perfect love match in three months or less-guaranteed. Much of what I do is working on your head- getting rid of old beliefs, helping you figure out what’s important to you, and understanding why you’ve made bad dating decisions in the past. It’s also about branding you. Figuring out the image you want to portray and marketing that to the opposite sex.
But for people who just want to jump in and start dating to actually find out what they find attractive I have the following five steps to online dating.
1. The reality for this kind of dating is that you need a computer. At the time of writing, you can get a small “reading laptop” like Acer or tablet for less than $300. This kind of computer has less bells and whistles, keeps it simple, and let’s you surf the net and send emails from anywhere. They are portable (they are so small, that we read our electronic books on it) and will fit in most purses and backpacks. You need to be able to check your emails and couple times a day and will need your own computer. If you can use a computer at work then great, and some people are motivated to use the library or community centre computers, but the reality is you have to be able to respond quickly to dating possibilities and need to be able to get online quickly.
2. Set up an anonymous email address. Go to hotmail or my preferred site google and get a gmail account. By anonymous I mean email@example.com, or firstname.lastname@example.org. Something where no one can trace it to you. You may need a couple, but start with one and give yourself a password you can remember. The easier the email address is to remember, the more likely you are to have someone remember your contact information.
3. Go online to google images and type in a description of yourself. By this I mean, 40 year old blonde, girl in cowboy hat, or middle aged man in sunglasses. The reality is that is if you look hard enough, (and or the person in the picture was wearing a hat, or were in glasses you could look sort of like anyone). I don’t want you to put a real picture of yourself until much later in the process. This guarantees anonymity so your work colleagues, ex-husband, parents of your kids friends don’t take notice of you when trolling on the internet. Save any pictures you find under the name (me1, me2, etc).
4. Come up with a list of quirky things about yourself that are interesting, including things you do badly. This is the time to have a sense of humor, and fun things about you that you are proud of. These are things like you played baseball so badly that you got hit on the head during practice, you drive a yellow car with furry dice in the window, you once studies Chinese, you played the bagpipes as a kid etc.
5. Then ask a few people who know you well to list a few characteristics about yourself. You would be amazed at what other people think about you. I can help you write a dating ad (www.loveandlipstick.com and email@example.com) and get it up there. Where else can you have 10,000 people looking at your profile.
Hang in there. The right person is out there for you.