I was told a story recently from a married women, out with her husband at a bar she didn’t usually frequent, who found herself dirty dancing with a lesbian tradeswoman to the delight of her husband and the rest of the bar. She said it was liberating to be that free and open with another woman on the dance floor, but assured me that it was "just in fun". I think like the song says, "girls just really want to have fun", and that this was truly just sexy, adult play, and touching for the fun of it, without an agenda. She was worried that I might misconstrue what I thought was sensuous, but light hearted fun.
I know lots of heterosexual women that have experimented sexually with other women. Does that make them bisexual? I don’t think so. At least I don’t define it as that. To me, bisexual means you could have a life relationship (rings, china patterns, or it’s equivalent) with someone of the same gender. The truly bisexual women I know are really attracted more or less equally to either gender. I counselled one married couple who loved each other, but where all her previous relationships had been with women and she really felt like she was a lesbian. She said it was a 90/10 split (favouring women), but she fell in love with the person, a man in this case, and I guess he fit into the 10% heterosexual part of her.
That’s not what I’m talking about with the story of the dirty dancing. I’m wondering about the appeal of straight women having a sexual romp- with or without men involved-(who would pay big money, or promise the moon to watch), and is there an appropriate label for that? I don’t think bisexual is it. I think everyone falls on a line, or a continuum, from really straight, to really gay, and most people would be open to some innocent, sensual, same sex, exploration if the situation was right, and the planets in alignment. The idea of touching breasts, skin, and hair of another woman is kind of like a really great massage, just with a bang at the end. Fun, sexy, silly, walk-on-the-wild-side, but safe, girl play. As who would know how you would like to be touched better than another woman? Besides our bodies feel different than men’s do. It doesn’t mean you want to have an emotional relationship with another woman, it is simple curiousity, and being open to positive sensations.
I’ve had married women who do this kind of play with like-minded girlfriends, and describe the difference between sex with men and women as the difference between birthday candles and dynamite. Prefer men, but birthday candles are still fun to blow out. It’s what all heterosexual men wish women would do together on the dance floor (or off it). I told the women sharing her dancing experience, that I not only thought she made the evening of everyone watching, but bet most of the straight women watching wished they were uninhibited enough to join in.