I’ve been spending more and more of my day talking to men about how to increase the amount of sex they are getting. Between increasing their wives libido (try Thrust the cool new nutritional product with amazing results), how to find a mistress, advertise for the love of your life, and generally work through the hooking up relationship stuff to get laid more. A far cry from the urology of erectile dysfunction that I expect to be doing, but that seems to be what men anyway are asking about.
What always strikes me is how lame guys are at keeping things going. Every customer service book out says that it is far easier and cheaper to retain an existing customer than get a new one. Ergo, it is far easier to get more sex from the woman you have, than continually find new ones. That doesn’t tell the whole story because men like a plenary of new women, but that’s a blog for another day. Take the first time for instance. You’ve been buying coffee, dinners, and have generally been on your best behaviour, and finally get the woman in question between the sheets. Absolutely bare minimum etiquette is an email within 36 hours of the encounter (sooner is better) telling her what a goddess she is and that you can’t wait to see her again. Unless she really turned you off, and you don’t want to see her again. In that case, you send a polite email thanking her, and keeping the next time hook up comment absent. Sending her nothing (not a call, email, carrier pigeon etc) means she thinks something is seriously wrong with her and agonizes about her self esteem (we are women and think everything is out fault), or more likely is sticking pins into a voodoo doll that looks remarkedly like you.
So if you do want to repeat the experience, a better approach would be a voicemail at a time when she’s out with the aforementioned sincere remarks about her goddess-like qualities. And really, Really smart guys spend the $40 and get FTD florist to send flowers with a simple note thanking her for an amazing evening. That pretty much guarantees you that she’ll be on her knees again very soon. Unless you were really bad at it but again, that’s a blog for another day. Flowers (even a single rose on a budget) will forgive many sins. We know that sex gets better with time, and are usually quite gracious about first times that aren’t as smooth or you were a little quick off the mark. Just tell her how beaustiful she is, and that you couldn’t control yourself.
Common sense, but raise your hand if you’ve ever sent flowers after the first time. I rest my case.