I've been thinking about volcano's this weekend. Partly because of the news of Alaska's Mount Redoubt volcano erupting four times overnight, for the volcano's first emission in nearly 20 years. I just happen to think volcano's are very sexual. You know what I mean. Big, bad boys, that blow hot and dangerous, and erupt spewing a geyser of hot liquid when they get aroused enough. The sexual imagery is clearly strong.
Reseach on sexual trace minerals claims that the populations with the highest virility (still getting it up and producing motile sperm over 100 years of age) all live next to volcanos. Apparently the mineral content of the water, and food grown in volcanic soil keep those small blood vessels clean the longest. Volcanic dwellers apparently have great sex.
Friends of ours travelled recently to the Big Island of Hawaii, and stayed overnight at a private B & B on the side of an active volcano. They were over on the weekend and described the highlight of their recent trip to Hawaii. They stayed at the only house left standing in a field of green surrounded on all sides by molten lava. It was the sole surviving premises after every one of it's neighbours were washed away or vapourized in 1200 degree lava during the big eruption in 1982. Our friends, were informed by the helicopter pilot that Jack's lava house takes on guests, they immediately made arrangements for Jack to meet them, and guide them up the mountain for the 5 mile hike over lava rock besides magma rivers to his B & B. As they were telling the story about the vanishing boulders, I kept thinking it would be a great place to dispose of bodies. Unrecoverable, instantly vaporized, with no traces left – dropping a body into lava could be the perfect crime. But I digress.
With no power, Jack on the mountain is entirely self sufficient, living alone on a active volcano that can send lava travelling at close to 30 miles per hour. They had an amazing view of the flares of lava around them, and said they had the most memorable sex of thier lives that night looking at the volcano and surrounding Pacific Ocean. She said "the earth literally moved, and it was incredibly hot"…
I love having sex in interesting and slightly risky places. I think most women do. And I've had my share of intimate ski hills, walks in the woodsboffing, and water play. But I can't top that story of heated, volcano sex. I hope the Alaskans are having great, rumbly sex up north this morning, in the shadow of their very turned-on volcano.