One of the questions I regularly ask my patients is "Tell me about the best sex you've ever had". Nobody has the same answer, but I get commentsabout the most attractive partners, the range of repetoire, the newness of the partner, and exciting places.
However, lately, the thoughts about the best sex ever have been about how the moment made you feel (especially when I query patients older than 50). It's about the intimacy – or the connection that you make during the sex that gives you the goosebumps. That's what makes it special. in my I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about the research Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz did about the eye gazing, and how feeling close to one's partner made sex better.
One of my patients asked me about my favourite sexual memory, and how do I quantify great sex. In thinking about it, I think it has a little to do location, a little to do with magical visual shots in my brain, and a little to do with scent. Scent is the sense with the strongest link to memory, and I think women are far more likely to remember smells when recanting a special sexual experience than the men I interview.
For me, magic is the full moon, the sound of wolves and loons howling, and of being outside by the water having forbidden sex. Or the way the sun made the water sparkle while floating behind the dock and having penetration on a busy lake in the middle of the afternoon. The smell of wet grass in the rain, and the sight of frogs jumping as we went looking for a spot to christen. Suntan lotion, and sex on the beach. hmmm maybe there is something about outside sex that makes it magic and memorable. Give that some thought as we head into a weekend of warm nights, and glistening bodies.