Like most women, I have numerous men in my life. My partner, ex-partner, realtor, accountant, lawyer, brother, father and nine-year old son to name a few. I have been known once or twice to complain about the energy it takes to manage all of them, and stay connected. My girlfriends understand that if we don’t connect, there is no harm or foul as we are overrun with work, kids, and laundry. Men are in need of far more attention and stimulation than that. Don’t get me wrong, positive male attention is in the top three things that women crave (behind a live in maid, and hot bath with a box of Godiva chocolate (maybe just my fantasy).
And if a year goes by, we all know it’s nothing personal. As I get older (aging gracefully, I hope) I’m noting that the secret to handling the men in my life is to be far more direct, and bossy than as women, we are taught to behave. I read the Elle magazine survey women bosses were as effective and liked as male bosses when it came to management and productivity, but the "catty" and "tyrant" labels linger. It turns out, that the cattier and more tyrannical the women employers were, the better the men liked it, The women employee hated it, but that’s not proving my point. Smile. The truth that I’m realizing is that the bossier, and more directorial I am, the better most of the men I know like it. I think men really need to be needed, get mildly turned on by being bossed around by a woman, and how they seem to quiet down given directions (even if you are faking being bossy, it seems to work). The old adage that "men fall in love with bitches", may or may not be true, but the sex therapist in me thinks that men find the bitches much sexier. Just a thought….